Monday, January 16, 2017

the wind continues to blow

i'm so mesmerized by this song,【風繼續吹】or "the wind continues to blow". it was released in 1983, and is also the theme song for john woo's once a thief (1991), which leslie starred in (he was a darling!). 




this is the music video/karaoke version i found of it on youtube. the video is composed of clips of leslie, probably in his 30s, engaging in a series of moody scenes that include lying on his bed, letting snow fall onto his face, playing in the ocean at the beach, gazing at himself in the mirror, and standing alone while looking off into the distance. 

there's something about this song that makes me think that leslie is singing to himself. what really cemented this idea for me was when i watched his performance of this song at his 1997 new year's concert, which honestly made me cry and feel all sorts of pain. 



there's such a contrast here between his early years and the way he is now. he starts by sitting on the stage, cradling himself, eventually standing up and moving around the stage, illuminated by a single spotlight and gesturing to the darkness surrounding him. it's a contemplative, vulnerable, and deeply intimate performance. (btw in general this performance isn't really what leslie was known for; by the late 90s, he was really going all out in his concerts, wearing flashy costumes, as well as adorning dresses and high heels and really experimenting with gender presentation (watch his performance of 红 at the same concert where he courts a male dancer..!!)).

but i think the reason i'm so invested in this performance of【風繼續吹】 is because i see it as leslie's own lamentation of his gradual ageing and loss of beauty. it was fairly well-known that leslie was terrified of growing old and no longer being beautiful. i think the simplicity of this performance really allowed leslie to confront the inevitability of his own ageing, and convey his struggles with accepting that he's no longer as young as he used to be. 

the lyrics of【風繼續吹】could also easily be read (in my view) as an older self singing to their younger self about times past and reconciling with the necessity of continuing on with life. of course we all know what happened in the end. after leslie passed away, many people claimed that he chose to die because he couldn't bear watching himself grow old. as cruel as that is, i'm sure that ageing was something that leslie deeply struggled with, and it should be acknowledged in a more tender and understanding way, because after all i don't think leslie was alone in his fears.

but yes.. i'll end this post with the lyrics to【風繼續吹】, and my own hasty english translation. i can't stop listening to this song, especially leslie's 1997 live version, it's so beautiful.. leslie you were, are, and always will be beautiful to me..

【風繼續吹】

我勸妳早點歸去 妳說妳不想歸去
衹叫我抱著妳 悠悠海風輕輕吹
冷卻了野火堆
我看見傷心的妳 妳叫我怎捨得去
哭態也絕美 如何止哭
衹得輕吻妳髮邊
讓風繼續吹 不忍遠離
心裡極渴望 希望留下伴著妳

風繼續吹 不忍遠離
心裡亦有淚不願流淚望著妳
過去多少快樂記憶 何妨與妳一起去追
要將憂鬱苦痛洗去 柔情蜜意我願記取
要強忍離情淚 未許它向下垂
愁如鎖眉頭聚 別離淚始終要下垂

我已令妳快樂 妳也令我癡癡醉
妳已在我心 不必再問記著誰
留住眼內每滴淚 為何仍斷續流默默垂


i urged you to leave early
you said you didn't want to go
you only wanted me to hold you
the leisurely ocean breeze lightly blows
cooling the wildfire
i saw your sorrow
how could i bear to leave
even your weeping is beautiful
how could it be stopped
i could only softly kiss your hair
let the wind continue to blow
i can't withstand being so far apart from you
my heart is filled with longing
hoping to stay and remain by your side

the wind continues to blow
i can't withstand being so far apart from you
i didn't allow the tears in my heart to fall as i looked at you
so many happy memories of the past
where's the harm in chasing them together
wash away our pain and suffering
i want to take in tenderness and sweet thoughts
must resist these parting tears and not let them fall
sadness locked in my furrowed eyebrows
but these parting tears must finally fall

i've already made you happy
and you have left me intoxicated
you are in my heart
no need to ask again who i am remembering
i'm holding back every single tear
but why do they keep silently flowing

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