Saturday, January 28, 2017

不羁的风


well i've fallen into a deep obsession with leslie's 80s music career... my favorite song from that time so far (aside from 风继续吹) is 不羁的风 (why did so many songs have 风 in their titles lol).

this was definitely one of his classic standout songs (i think it's actually a chinese cover? a lot of leslie's popular songs from the 80s were chns versions of japanese songs), it's really upbeat and fun and so.. incredibly 80s.. and i'm in love with everything about it!

here is the ktv version of 不羁的风:


just as with the ktv version of 风继续吹, i'm.. so enamored.. the lights, the colors, the dancing, the way he looks straight into the camera, the dramatic backdrops, the funny camera work and editing.... i.... love it...!!!!! he dances in front of a fountain of water, then spins around and caresses these huge posters of marilyn monroe.. all these cultural signifiers, objects of desire.. youthful longing, unapologetic self-indulgence, too much, too much!! i love it!! 

here is an abridged live performance of the same song: 


god those white pants and those backup dancers.. and the way he smiles, so filled with hope! it's wacky and cheesy but in such an endearing way!

forever in love!!

Thursday, January 26, 2017

temptress moon: nostalgia and the impossibility of homecoming

temptress moon (1996) is an incredible and terribly underrated chen kaige film that received mixed reception upon its release because i think everyone was expecting to see an epic sequel to farewell my concubine; instead, they were mostly confused (i'm not sure why though, i didn't find the film confusing at all. it was emotionally murky and addled, but not convoluted plot-wise). anyways i highly highly recommend temptress moon because i think in many ways it's a continuation of the ideas explored in fmc, and also it's just beautiful and haunting and paralyzing. leslie and gong li are in it, and christopher doyle did the cinematography. 

i borrowed rey chow's sentimental fabulations, contemporary chinese films: attachment in the age of global visibility a few weeks ago because i saw that rey included an essay about temptress moon in it. i'm unsure about how i feel about rey's scholarship, mainly because we read her essay on yellow earth last semester for my chinese cinemas class and it was too reactionary for me. but on the other hand i feel like rey is my academia mom.


sentimentalism is present in sino film in a major way.. major enough for rey to write a whole book about it. rey's working definition of sentimentalism is that it is "the affective state triggered by a sense of loss"; "the apprehension of an irreversible temporal differentiation or the passing of time” (chow, 15). one way that sentimentalism manifests itself, therefore, is through nostalgia and the desire for homecoming. 

chen kaige is a very interesting director to consider in this context because of his own "unresolved cultural complexes", as rey puts it. love it!

i read and parsed through rey's essay, "the seductions of homecoming: temptress moon and the question of origins"; i'm a little too tired to say anything more atm but i will copy some of the quotes i collected here.

(no spoilers ahead btw.. at least i don't think)



***






“as an adopted home for zhongliang, the backward, decadent countryside of the pangs is significant as the site of a sexual primal scene that has shaped his character negatively: in order to be, zhongliang must leave. his existential autonomy, in other words, has to be established as a fight from the shock that is supposedly home" (32)




“etymologically, “seduction” refers to a leading astray, the opposite of going home [..] in temptress moon, importantly, this classic opposition between home and seduction has broken down. consciously, indeed, home is what zhongliang resists and rejects, and yet in his negative, flighty mode as a professional seducer, he seems nonetheless to keep turning back, to keep clinging to something he does not fully comprehend" (36) 



"seductions of the former home involve the memory of and attachment to the entire scenario of zhongliang’s early years, a scenario composed by particular configurations of relationships in their enigmatic violence and intensity. such violence and intensity have remained unrecognized, we may say, until zhongliang sees them in the form of an other, an image presented by another person if this imaging of how “others do it” may be described as a visual guide to home, then homecoming itself is, strictly speaking, a second-order seduction, a seduction of the already seduced. working by the force of memory, which erupts at the sight/site of that which has already been experienced once before, this homecoming can be extraordinarily powerful. in fact, it is lethal" (36-37)



“in narratological terms, zhongliang is hence constituted - visually and aurally as well as through the plot — by patterns of departure that help convey all the questions of his identity — what is zhongliang running from? where is he going? whom will he meet on the way? and so forth. this negative pose of a male character on the run is a kind of fury or resistance that, ultimately, delivers him home against his will. at the same time, if such a male psyche is the legacy of a mainstream modernism that defines itself in opposition to the socius, what is revealed in the seductions of zhongliang’s homecoming is perhaps the fragility of this dissident masculinity as inscribed in the paradigm of fright and flight, a paradigm that is subverted by the network of characters and relationships that sprawl around zhongliang like a labyrinth” (39)




“once [the impossibility of being authentic or original] is understood, we will realize that, paradoxically, such impossibility is exactly the reason chen’s film can be so provocative. not being authentic or original here translates into a remarkable filmic self-consciousness, a reflexive visual coming-to-terms with the myriad ways modern china has already been looked at by others, chinese and non-chinese, for more than a century and a half” (43)



“precisely because they are unreachable, they are all the more to be longed for. what has become unraveled is the vicious circle of a cultural complex in which idealism leads as it always does, to homesickness and vice versa, ad infinitum" (45)


"ironically, the implications of chen’s concluding image put him much closer to the critics who like to accuse him and his fellow directors of forsaking the authentic china. in their obstinate adherence to fantasies of the origin as what has not been touched - be it in the form of a mythical chineseness, a pristine native tradition descending from beijing, female intactness, or childhood innocence — even as the vices and profanities of shanghai pose irresistible attraction, the director and his critics are finally united as sentimental perpetrators of a certain type of homecoming with its well-trodden seductive paths. as they probably know only too well, such paths lead nowhere, but that is probably also why their homesickness persists" (45)


***


side note: i still want to fight chen kaige, perform psychoanalysis on him, ask him why he writes so many doomed women/girl characters who try to defy patriarchal norms but end up meeting a tragic end every time, and then give him a hug. because he needs it, because we all need it

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

farewell concert

leslie performing 风继续吹 at his farewell concert in 1989 - he starts sobbing towards the end and as he collects bouquets from the crowd. i've never seen him do anything like this before..


哥哥的哭态也绝美。。


最近怎么样?
希望你一切都好。💕

Saturday, January 21, 2017

leslie forever

here is a playlist i made of my favorite leslie cheung songs!!



i had to finally teach myself how to use spotify just for this.. tbh i haven't listened to leslie's music extensively yet, but i've already discovered some wonderful songs that i really really love so i had to make this playlist! i might change it up later on but here it is for now. all of these songs make me feel really warm and loved.. (i also feel a lot of pain and sorrow lol). i hope you can also feel a little warm and loved by listening to leslie!

always, forever with you,
c.

Friday, January 20, 2017

leslie in singapore 1995

i've watched quite a few interviews with leslie and i just wanted to post this one he did in singapore in 1995, it's not very long but i think it's really cute:



going to include some bullet points because i can't not share my thoughts...
  • leslie's guoyu is so good!!! and not just pronunciation-wise; he expressed himself so eloquently which takes a lot to achieve.. i'm forever in awe
  • he mentions that his favorite taiwanese directors are hou hsiao-hsien and ang lee 
  • leslie names maggie as his favorite actress without a second thought aaaah
  • he also refuses to name his favorite actors and jokes that he thinks he's the best
  • he likes to play mah jong with his friends! (his "坏的朋友" aha)
overall leslie's just so naturally lovely and charming... when i look at him i see a star who can embody anything and everything... 

anyways im sending love to everyone who reads this because i love you all i truly do!!

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

miscellany

1/17 dream: i was reading a mutual's tumblr post, it was a story about how on a summer day two years ago they made plans to walk to washington square park to read a book, but on the way they ran into the filming of an episode of paonan and wang leehom was there. then my dream switched to wang leehom's perspective and he just so happened to walk by the home of a childhood friend, then wang leehom turned into a child again and decided to take a nap on the bed on the floor of the friend's house. when he woke up the friend's grandpa asked wang leehom if he wanted some tofu to eat and wang leehom said "no" and then contemplated how he'd remember this moment for the rest of his life and that he needed to make a wise decision. i woke up before he made up his mind! also i barely know who wang leehom even is

other things i found out recently:

  • there is a happy together themed cafe in seoul where they play the film on loop all day and decorated the interior with posters of leslie and tony, and i am going to make the pilgrimage there one day
  • leslie was the most popular hk idol in south korea in the 1990s
  • someone who works for SM (maybe a music video director? not sure) said that kyungsoo from exo reminded them of leslie but.. frankly i don't see it at all except for their small stature and maybe their eyebrows lol

yesterday i also watched lan yu (2001), dir. stanley kwan.. (spoilers ahead)

it was more of a sketch/collection of vignette-style scenes than a typical narrative, and there was a theatrical air to the whole film that sat a bit strangely with the otherwise realist nature of the setting and story.. i think what the film was lacking was interiority, which is also something i felt with rouge. i wanted the characters' motivations to be explored in greater depth.. i wanted to see hu jun cry for a little longer after he finally admits to lan yu that he loves him.. wanted the scene to linger a bit longer on lan yu when he leaves for the final time.. and why did lan yu have to die? it wasn't very .. deserved or emotionally justified(?) by the plot, which didn't even feel that tragic, and they were learning to love each other so why did it have to end so cruelly.. anyways aside from that hu jun's whole beijing rer (人儿) (idk i made up that phonetic translation just now) thing reminds me so so much of my uncle, and also of "home"! i really love hearing strong beijinghua. also liu ye (god i suddenly remembered that there was full frontal nudity in this film that i really wasn't prepared for. now i forgot what i was going to say about liu ye)  

and one last thing:


the thing he does with his voice in the verses.. what is that.. is that normal i have never heard anyone sing like that before but maybe i just dont listen to deeper vocals that often.. either way i've come to the conclusion that leslie was really a wonderful singer and i still can't believe he was so good at both acting and music, like when will anyone top that (no one will, ever).. also i already wear turtlenecks every day because i'm like that but this MV made me really wanna dedicate myself to looking good in turtlenecks.. also if this MV featured anyone but leslie i'd think it was super corny. anyways i really like this song!! maybe my 3rd fav leslie song rn after 风继续吹 (im still drowning in emotions over his 1997 new year's live performance of this song) and bygone love/the farewell my concubine theme, which i love bc every time i listen to it i think of leslie as cantopop idol singing to leslie as cheng dieyi and then i feel too much all over again..

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

this winter break i:

  • watched 22 films w leslie
  • listened to leslie's music and learned to appreciate cantopop
  • got back into film again in a major way. like really major
  • decided to become a leslie scholar
  • got my hair processed and lightened again (i want to be a platinum blonde babe idk why)
  • started running (only did this twice so far but i think i actually love running.. weird)
  • spent a lot of time at home but i feel more connected to people than i've felt in a really long time
  • i can't think of anything else but i just wanted to do this bc my final semester of college starts tomorrow (in.. 10 hrs to be precise) and i don't feel much about it, i just hope that i can keep up the motivation and energy i suddenly developed over break and not let myself die again from school. i've finally told my internship place that i'm not returning for the spring (i stayed w them for 3 intern cycles, a total of 11 months lol i just didn't want to leave), i didn't apply for any work study jobs, and i'm limiting myself to taking 4 classes this term so i hope i can have some, even a little peace of mind and time to myself, even though i'm working on my thesis and graduation is near and in the back of my mind i fear that i won't make it through graduation day but. but. all is well and i will be fine. i need to go to bed! good night! 

with love,
c.

Monday, January 16, 2017

the wind continues to blow

i'm so mesmerized by this song,【風繼續吹】or "the wind continues to blow". it was released in 1983, and is also the theme song for john woo's once a thief (1991), which leslie starred in (he was a darling!). 




this is the music video/karaoke version i found of it on youtube. the video is composed of clips of leslie, probably in his 30s, engaging in a series of moody scenes that include lying on his bed, letting snow fall onto his face, playing in the ocean at the beach, gazing at himself in the mirror, and standing alone while looking off into the distance. 

there's something about this song that makes me think that leslie is singing to himself. what really cemented this idea for me was when i watched his performance of this song at his 1997 new year's concert, which honestly made me cry and feel all sorts of pain. 



there's such a contrast here between his early years and the way he is now. he starts by sitting on the stage, cradling himself, eventually standing up and moving around the stage, illuminated by a single spotlight and gesturing to the darkness surrounding him. it's a contemplative, vulnerable, and deeply intimate performance. (btw in general this performance isn't really what leslie was known for; by the late 90s, he was really going all out in his concerts, wearing flashy costumes, as well as adorning dresses and high heels and really experimenting with gender presentation (watch his performance of 红 at the same concert where he courts a male dancer..!!)).

but i think the reason i'm so invested in this performance of【風繼續吹】 is because i see it as leslie's own lamentation of his gradual ageing and loss of beauty. it was fairly well-known that leslie was terrified of growing old and no longer being beautiful. i think the simplicity of this performance really allowed leslie to confront the inevitability of his own ageing, and convey his struggles with accepting that he's no longer as young as he used to be. 

the lyrics of【風繼續吹】could also easily be read (in my view) as an older self singing to their younger self about times past and reconciling with the necessity of continuing on with life. of course we all know what happened in the end. after leslie passed away, many people claimed that he chose to die because he couldn't bear watching himself grow old. as cruel as that is, i'm sure that ageing was something that leslie deeply struggled with, and it should be acknowledged in a more tender and understanding way, because after all i don't think leslie was alone in his fears.

but yes.. i'll end this post with the lyrics to【風繼續吹】, and my own hasty english translation. i can't stop listening to this song, especially leslie's 1997 live version, it's so beautiful.. leslie you were, are, and always will be beautiful to me..

【風繼續吹】

我勸妳早點歸去 妳說妳不想歸去
衹叫我抱著妳 悠悠海風輕輕吹
冷卻了野火堆
我看見傷心的妳 妳叫我怎捨得去
哭態也絕美 如何止哭
衹得輕吻妳髮邊
讓風繼續吹 不忍遠離
心裡極渴望 希望留下伴著妳

風繼續吹 不忍遠離
心裡亦有淚不願流淚望著妳
過去多少快樂記憶 何妨與妳一起去追
要將憂鬱苦痛洗去 柔情蜜意我願記取
要強忍離情淚 未許它向下垂
愁如鎖眉頭聚 別離淚始終要下垂

我已令妳快樂 妳也令我癡癡醉
妳已在我心 不必再問記著誰
留住眼內每滴淚 為何仍斷續流默默垂


i urged you to leave early
you said you didn't want to go
you only wanted me to hold you
the leisurely ocean breeze lightly blows
cooling the wildfire
i saw your sorrow
how could i bear to leave
even your weeping is beautiful
how could it be stopped
i could only softly kiss your hair
let the wind continue to blow
i can't withstand being so far apart from you
my heart is filled with longing
hoping to stay and remain by your side

the wind continues to blow
i can't withstand being so far apart from you
i didn't allow the tears in my heart to fall as i looked at you
so many happy memories of the past
where's the harm in chasing them together
wash away our pain and suffering
i want to take in tenderness and sweet thoughts
must resist these parting tears and not let them fall
sadness locked in my furrowed eyebrows
but these parting tears must finally fall

i've already made you happy
and you have left me intoxicated
you are in my heart
no need to ask again who i am remembering
i'm holding back every single tear
but why do they keep silently flowing

Saturday, January 14, 2017

2002 interview w/ leslie

i'm crying at this interview i just found that leslie did in 2002 -- he talks about his preparations for his directorial debut!!! 

here are some excerpts:

"The film - the Chinese title translates as ‘Stolen Heart’ - is to be produced by Cheung’s new production company Dream League, so named because he wants to “create a dream team not only for movies, but concerts and showbiz”. It won’t be a light-hearted romance or comedy but a period drama set in 1940s China."

“No matter how much anyone (tries to) convince me about how good-looking I am, or how strong I am. I know I am ageing. Think about it, Leslie Cheung is already 45. I shouldn’t complain but obviously I am not as nimble as before. Hopefully there’s such a thing as ageing gracefully.”

Cheung admits he told Time magazine in May last year when quizzed about his sexual orientation that “it’s more appropriate to say I’m bisexual''.  Was that a "coming out" statement, as most people took it to be?  “Coming out? Coming out?" Cheung asks, his voice rising several notches in amusement. "No, it’s not.  It’s not the first time I've said something so daring."


i'm so emotional.. oh leslie!! i can't believe he had invested so much into his first directorial feature. his first "baby" must have been so precious to him, but it never materialized.. GOD! 

and his coming to terms with aging.. he never could do it, could he? 

also, leslie doesn't consider his famous times comment as a "coming out", which is so interesting. he wanted to be daring, and he was.. more than any of us knew....

yang yin: gender in chinese cinema

yesterday i decided on a whim to watch this documentary on gender in chinese film. it's directed by stanley kwan, whose work i'm not very familiar with aside from rouge (1990), which i watched last week (it's a great film and i'd recommend it to anyone, though i kinda felt like it was kind of missing a piece or something.. idk. anita mui's performance makes it worth it though). stanley, whose voiceover is narrated by tony rayns, interviews some of the biggest and well-known sino directors at the time (including john woo, tsui hark, chen kaige, ang lee, xie jin, edward yang, hou hsiao-hsien, tsai ming-liang.. whew!) on their views on a variety of gender-related topics, including homoerotic male bonding, father-son relationships, and cross-dressing characters in their films. stanley kwan "came out" as gay for the first time in this film.. he's my new director hero after tsai.

i think this documentary is valuable because you get to hear what all of these big-name directors think about topics that were (/are still) considered taboo for public discussion at the time. stanley's interviewing style is very direct, at times even verging on being presumptuous and leading, but the directors' reactions to his questions are pretty interesting.

i took a lot of stills so i'll put them here! 


the film begins with the topic of homoerotic male bonding and images of hypermasculine naked men in the director chang cheh's films. here's what peggy chiao had to say:







and here's chang cheh's response to claims of homoeroticism in his films:






hmmmmmmmm.. 

john woo is in this, too. when asked about the homoerotic tension in his films like a better tomorrow  and the killer, he responds by saying that it was all unintentional, but that his films don't really "belong" to him after they're released and that people have the right to form their own interpretations of the film. i liked that a lot, since it seems like a lot of directors (*cough* chen kaige) don't seem to have the same approach to their own films. john woo also made this interesting statement on making films that feature strong male bonding in hollywood versus in hong kong:




i wonder what he meant by this. did hollywood producers tell him this? does he mean that american audiences more readily read strong male relationships as gay? hm.

also, my star, my love, my one and only idol is in this too! he has some good moments.

narration: leslie cheung has played more than his fair share of narcissistic characters. i asked if he owns up to being a narcissist in real life. 

leslie: "oh, absolutely!"



hehe!

and here's leslie on why he gets asked to play so many effeminate roles:






"in a delicate way", he says in english. god i love you

next we come to chen kaige. here's him responding to accusations of homophobia in farewell my concubine:








can someone pay for my ticket to china so i can fight chen kaige?? honestly.. how did he manage to make fmc and still be so stubbornly insistent that dieyi is "a man". and the way he asserts that there's a core meaning to the film.. kaige.. let it go

stanley also interviews the three big taiwanese new wave directors - hou, edward, and tsai! their portion focused mainly on their relationships to their fathers. i was a little disappointed because it felt fairly short and i wanted to hear more of their insights. but it was cute nonetheless!







here's tsui hark on brigitte lin playing male roles in films:







leslie on brigitte:


(in english) "sorry. too bad. she's a very good friend of mine, but i have to say."



LMAO so i honestly don't know if his judgment of brigitte is fair since i've only seen her in the bride with white hair and a few wong kar-wai films, but you have to give it to leslie.. he had no qualms about speaking his mind!








yes! tell them, leslie.. he makes such a crucial point. chang cheh said that he essentially wanted to re-masculinize chinese men onscreen; leslie is doing the opposite with the roles he plays in films, and it's scary - femininity in men is still seen as threatening to the heteronormative chinese state. i also think that you can tell that leslie's speaking from a place of personal frustration with having to deal with the horrible insults and rumors about his private life that circulated after farewell my concubine came out. 









he was honestly everything...

some other interviews that i didn't take screenshots of were with ang lee, who comes off as such a nice person (he talks about how he thinks filial piety is flawed and that love should be the important element in parent-child relationships), xie jin (who made red detachment of women and stage sisters), and also his son, xie yan. the independent director zhang yuan is also interviewed, and he speaks briefly about east palace west palace (which i wrote about in my last post!), which he was currently filming at the time. i really want to see more of zhang yuan's films!

at the end of the documentary, stanley interviews his own mother on her views on yam kim-fai, a famous cantonese opera star who was known for playing male leads. yam kim-fai was in a committed relationship with her co-star, bak sheut-shin.







!!!


i really enjoyed this last part of the film because stanley's mother is just so sweet! she also reveals that she's happy for stanley's relationship and it's obvious that she loves him so much. it's wonderful!

anyways those are all the screenshots i had. i'd highly recommend this documentary; i linked to where you can stream it at the top of this post if you're interested in watching!


xoxo c.